Coping Through Crisis: Boundaries

Rest is super important when we are dealing with high stress, high stakes circumstances. Our minds and bodies are working overtime and expending a lot more energy than normal, which really wears us down. Repressing emotions and numbing our feelings takes a huge amount of energy and mental space, so it is actually counterproductive to truly overcoming negative crisis responses.

Rest Means Boundaries

We need time to rest and recharge so that we can fully show up for ourselves and others, especially in times like these. That means we need to be setting boundaries with our work. My routine fluctuates from day to day but I make sure to maintain healthy boundaries like taking breaks every few hours, stopping for a real lunch break (I’m so bad about working while I eat!), and taking walks. Most of the time, I end my workday between 6-7pm. Sometimes when my schedule moves around, I’ll work at night, but I have a hard stop at 10pm, so that I can wind down and fall asleep. The better I am about honoring and protecting my energy, the more productive I can be (in both quality and quantity of work).

Be Patient with Your Needs

Lately, it’s been a struggle to be patient with my energy. I’m juggling new projects, expanding my business, processing my past, and adjusting to the pandemic all at the same time! It’s easy for my inner dialogue to turn into beating myself up because I don’t have the energy to do everything. There’s so much that I want and need to get done, but my mind and body are exhausted. Feeling down on myself for not being able to keep up is a toxic cycle that only makes things worse. I’ve had to acknowledge when I’m too tired to keep working and graciously allow myself to rest without feeling guilty about it (that’s the hard part!)

Set Boundaries in Your Personal Life Too

I’m not limiting setting boundaries to professional work either. I have to make sure that I’m not overwhelming myself with inner work too. As someone who lives with depression and anxiety, I have to make the effort everyday to keep my mind from reverting back to its default state. Under normal circumstances, I continually work on mindfulness, active engagement with my emotions, and processing past trauma. I am a work in progress, but also I must find balance in just being. The challenge is recognizing the difference between when I need mental investigation and when I need space and rest. 

Our culture and society have us measuring our worth and value in our productivity. We must learn to let go of this. We get so caught up in our responsibility for work and others that we forget that it's also our responsibility to just live and be and care for ourselves. When we get caught up in the cycle of doing everything for others and not for ourselves, we end up burned out. 

Resting the Right Way

Another thing to consider when it comes to rest is how you are resting. If you only know two ways to rest: sleep and binging Netflix, then you’re missing out on the many types of rest that we really need.

I have also been caught up in this narrow view of rest. Part of my wake up call that I needed to dig deeper into my health was that I was tired all the time, so all I felt like doing was watching tv. It became a real problem, in fact. It got so bad that I found myself bored of tv and yet unable to get myself off the couch. Since then, I’ve diversified how I rest.

Finding the right way to rest isn’t always straightforward. For me, cooking myself a meal or going on a walk can be considered rest. I’m not necessarily resting my body, but these are activities that help my mind relax and recover my energy. Saying no to a favor or a project is an important type of rest. Things that help me wind down so that I can sleep are other types of rest like reading, yin yoga or taking a hot bath. 

Endurance takes patience and resilience. Be gentle with yourself. Set the boundaries you need in order to make time for real rest.

Ready to Start Healing?

Now that I have started coaching, I’m so excited to help you heal and cope through the crises in your life. With all the tools, resources, support, and guidance I have gained during the decade of my own healing, I’m here to support you and catalyze your journey!

I’m offering a special highly discounted offer to anyone who is ready to make this change. If that sounds like you, email me with the subject line “I’m Ready!” for a discount on your first three months of coaching with me. Let’s co-create a life that you love and feel inspired by!