It's a Crying Shame: The Power of Expressing Emotions for Healing and Connection

Being vulnerable isn’t easy. If the idea of vulnerability scares you, that’s okay! The Vulnerability Challenge is designed to help you open up and embrace your true self.

It’s time to transform shame and self-pity into self-love and compassion. Turn disconnection into deep self-reflection. Turn fear and avoidance into courage.

I won’t ask you to do anything I’m not willing to do myself, so for this new blog series, I will be openly sharing my own process through the Vulnerability Challenge, starting with this question:

When Was the Last Time You Cried? Understanding Emotional Release and Self-Healing

Today—whether it’s the day I wrote this or the day you’re reading this post—I will have cried.

Since the beginning of the pandemic, I’ve been brought to tears almost daily, which was a big adjustment. At first, it was concerning—I shouldn’t be crying this much. It’s not normal. Then it became frustrating—I don’t have time for this. But as 2020 turned into 2021, I started to accept it. Maybe it’s not “normal,” but it makes sense. This past year and a half has unearthed a lot for all of us.

The tears aren’t always from sadness or depression. More often than not, they come from fully allowing myself to feel for the first time in a long time. I spent years repressing my emotions, and now they sit just below the surface, ready to rise at any moment. Sometimes I cry because I’m sad, but just as often, I cry because I feel grateful, scared, empowered, or overwhelmed with love. My emotions are big, and instead of suppressing them, I let them flow.

Overcoming the Shame of Feeling: Why Embracing Emotions Leads to Greater Mental Health

For much of my life, I avoided my emotions, seeing them as weak and inconvenient. Most of all, I feared being overwhelmed by them. This created deep shame around expressing how I felt. Over the last several years, I’ve worked to release that shame and lean into my emotions, but the past year and a half took that practice to a new level. There was too much to hold, not enough space to store everything away—I had no choice but to face my feelings daily. It’s been a process.

I know that feeling my emotions is the best way to heal, but part of me still buys into the old shame and wishes I could go back to a time when I wasn’t crying every day. But I’ve been patient with myself, and I’m starting to see subtle shifts in how I feel about crying.

Before I Embraced Feeling: How Suppressing Emotions Created More Anxiety and Disconnection

A few years before COVID, I was watching a documentary with my partner when something unexpectedly triggered me. I calmly excused myself, walked to the bathroom, closed the door, and let out my tears. I was confused, processing what had surfaced and why. I didn’t want my partner to see me like that—this wasn’t about him, and I didn’t want to burden him with my emotions.

After a few minutes, I wiped away my tears, flushed the toilet to make it seem like I had just used the bathroom, and went back out as if nothing had happened.

Now That I Allow Myself to Feel: The Power of Emotional Vulnerability in Building Stronger Relationships

Fast forward to June of this year. My partner and I were on a weekend getaway, sitting by the ocean, enjoying the day. I was reading a book, and after finishing a chapter, I looked up at my partner with tears in my eyes.

I started to explain why I was crying, then paused and laughed. He asked what was funny, and I said, I just realized I don’t need to explain my tears to you. It’s not new for you to look over and see me crying.

I’ve come a long way from hiding my emotions. That realization was profound—I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable, to be seen, and that is a beautiful thing.

The Song That Always Makes Me Cry: How Music Helps Us Process and Heal Deep Emotions

What’s one song that makes you cry every time?

For me, it’s Wonderful by Everclear.

That song takes me back to my childhood—those late elementary and early high school days. It was my crying song. I played it when I was sad, angry, exhausted, and tired of being told that everything was going to be okay when it wasn’t.

I felt lied to and betrayed, and this song summed up those emotions perfectly. More than anything, I needed my pain to be validated, and that’s exactly what the song did. It made me feel seen, and because of that, I felt a little less alone.

Music became an emotional refuge for me. It was the one place where my experience felt acknowledged. This created tension between my parents and me because they didn’t know how to validate my feelings, but the music did.

Today, the song still makes me cry—but for a different reason. Now, when I listen to it, I think of little Elizabeth (I went by my full name then) and all she had to carry. But the truly wonderful thing is, the grown-up me gets to look back and tell her:

Everything did turn out okay. We learned how to take care of ourselves. We learned how to love ourselves. We found healing.

She doesn’t have to carry this forever. Things change—for the better—because of her determination, her compassion, and her resilience.

This song is a reminder of that.

Ready to Join the Vulnerability Challenge? How Embracing Your Emotions Can Transform Your Life

If you’re ready to start your journey toward embracing your emotions and deepening your understanding of yourself, I’d love for you to join me!

The Vulnerability Challenge starts in September. Sign up below!